Jokes

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Height of misunderstanding:

A man marrying his own secretary 

thinking that she will still follow his orders as before!!

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A man went to the marriage hall to reserve wedding date...

Office was closed and he read the following Notice outside the office ...

"Office closed between 1 pm and 3 pm... 

you may use this time to think again" 

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Wife: tum kal padosan ke sath movie dekhne gaye thay...???


Husband : kya karu tum to janti he ho ajkal family ke sath


dekhne layak film banti hi kahan hai..


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Question- kya ek wife apne husband ko lakhpati bna sakti hai ?


.



.


.


Answer- yes, par husband crorepati hona chahiye !!

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BHIKARI :- O Saheb, 5 rupiya do na bhuk lagi hai kuch khana hai.

GUJARATI :- 100 ki note hai, 

tere pas 95 chhuta hai?

BHIKARI:- Ha hai na Saheb

GUJARATI :- To pehle wo vapar na bhai.. 

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Man : my wife is too good.

She can talk on any subject for hours.

Montu : Ahh!!! my wife is better,

She does not even need a subject."

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...Parakh agar hire ki karni hai to

Kabhi Andhere me milo,, Ae Dost,.,,,

......Varna dhup me to Kanch ke tukde

bhi Chamakte hai......"

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Friend asks other friend: why did u run away from operation table.

2nd friend : nurse was repeatingly saying-don't get nervous,don't be afraid.This is a small operation,only..

Friend :what was wrong in it????😙😙😙

2nd friend: She was not speaking to me but to surgeon

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A 60 yr old Billionaire came to the Bar with his gorgeous 25 yr old wife!

Friend: How did she marry you?

Man: I lied about my age !

Friend: you said 45?

Man: No! I said 90 

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Dear friends ;

pls do not send me any independence day messages 

& don't wish me the same ... 

becoz i am married 

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A man was driving a car ...

A fat lady on a scooty overtook him !!

Man shouted : "Hey Buffalo"

Lady turned back and shouted : "You donkey, idiot, stupid monkey"

Suddenly she had an accident

She was hit by a buffalo crossing the road

MORAL : "Ladies never understand what a Man wants to say"...

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Jab bhi wife mera photo apne mobile se click karti hai mujhe bahut dar lagta hai........

Saala aaj kal OLX aur Quikr ki advertisement bahut aati hai

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What is the best example of ‘once in a lifetime’ opportunity?

A Mosquito lands on your wife’s face & you get the rarest opportunity of your life..

Never miss it!! ;)

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Kal raat meri biwi ne mujh se kaha ki tum toh ek dum Hritik jaise lagte ho...........

Maine saaf saaf bol diya ki mere paas sirf 400 rupaye hi hain

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Average distance a man walks in a mall if he

A. goes all by himself - 300 metres

B. is accompanied by his wife or girlfriend - 3 kilometers

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Wife : Truth or dare?



Husband : Truth.


She: Do i look fat in this new dress?




He : This is cheating, i asked for truth not for dare."

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Company Sales Officer tension mai tha..

Distributor : kya hua ??

Sales Officer: mai 6 months se tour pe 

tha,, wife pregnant ho gyi "

Distributor : beta ab pta chala, bina order 

k maal aata hai to kaisa lagta hai..

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Scientists have found ice and water On moon



We just need to carry whiskey and chips with us


Cant depend on Scientists for everything