Wife (on phone)
Suniye ji, window khul nahi rahi hai.
Husband- Aisa karo
thoda tel garam kar ke us par daal do.
Wife- Kya usese kaam ho jayega.
Husband- Try to karo.
After 15 mins , husband calls wife.
Husband- Tumne try kiya??
Wife- Haan kiya, par ab laptop hi band ho gaya!!!
=======
What is "GENERATION GAP"?
**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct...!!!)
=======
"Is kadar bebas nahin zindagi
Koshish jeene ki to karo yaaron
Beh jaayenge gham saare aansu ban kar
Koshish inhein peene ki to karo yaaron"
=======
Chhat tapkti hai uske...kacche ghar ki....!
Wo Kissan fir bhi... Barish ki dua karta hai...
=======
Ye bhi ek tamasha hai bazar-e-ulfat me galib....
Dil kisi ka hota hai aur bas kisi ka chalta hai...
=======
"Reh rehkar unki yaad aaye to kya kare,
Unki yaad dil se na jaye to kya kare,
socha tha khwab me mulakaat hogi unse,
isi khushi me neend na aaye to kya kare!"
=======
WoMen never listen properly:-
Wife: I lost my keys again !
Husband: It's in your Jeans.
Wife: Don't drag my family into this....
=======
Here is a list of things you need to teach your child(ren) at early age:
1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including
uncles.
2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.
3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'
4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find
out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.
5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child
becomes too fond of a particular adult.
6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently
ask lots of questions from your child.
7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you
don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.
8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.
9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your children visits often.
10. Teach your 3 year old how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that
includes you (remember, charity begins from home
and with you).
11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).
12. Let your children understand the value of standing out of the
crowd.
13: Once your child complains about a
particular person, don't keep quiet about it. Take
up the case and show them you can defend them.
Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.
"We Cares for your Child..."
=======
आज सिर उठा के वही चलता है
जिसके पास Smart Phone नहीं है...
=======
महसूस जब हो कि सारा शहर, आपसे ज़लने लगा है,
समझ लेना आपका नाम भी , चलने लगा है !!...
=======
Yaadon ko awaaz na dena..
Jeena mushkil kar deti hain
=======
Kabhi hum tutey toh kabhi khwaab tutey,
Na jane kitne tukado mein armaan tutey,
Har tukda aayina hai zindagi ka,
Har aayine ke saath laakhon jazbaat tutey....
=======
Ae dil tu dhadak par itna to soch zara,
teri pasand aur hai mere halaat aur hai.
=======
कौन कहता है जैसा "संग वैसा रंग"
इंसान लोमड़ी के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'शातिर' है...
इंसान शेर के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'क्रूर' है...!!!
=======
"एक एक कर इतनी कमियां निकाली लोगों ने मुझमें,
की अब बस "खुबियां" ही रह गयी हैं मुझमें........!
=======
A Serious Statement written outside a Women shoe shop
.
.
.
.
.
.
50% Discount
if you select in 2min
=======
Height of hygiene...???
An architect washing his hands with dettol
after making a drawing of a toilet..
=======
Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?
Wife : Theek hun.
Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?
Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain,
kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....
Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
Wife : (after few seconds silence).... daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha...
=======
CLASSIC ANSWER:
Aunty (seeing a kid aftr years)-
"Arey Beta kitna Bada Ho Gaya Hai tu to.."
KID- "Haan Aunty aur koi Option Hi Nahi tha!"
======
किसी ने कहा आपकी आँखे बड़ी खूबसूरत हैं..
मैने भी कह दिया...कि बारिश के बाद,अक्सर मौसम सुहाना हो जाता है |।।
======
जीँदगी हो या शतरंज, मजा तभी है दोस्त,
जब रानी मरते दम तक साथ हो...
======
वो लोग भी चलते हे आज कल तेवर बदल कर,
जिन्हे हमने ही सिखाया था चलना संभल कर.
======
This one's a Ladies special
Written by a lady
After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys.
They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too..
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is the car will be stolen.
Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion.
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police.
I gave them my location, Description of the car, Place I parked etc,
I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband, "Honey", I stammered; (I always call him "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."
He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."...
Oo womania ooo ooo womania...
======
दिल की धडकन ही रुक गयी...
.
.
.
.
.
जब लाईट गयी और कामवाली बोली.।.
वोट ध हेल इस धिस, यु डोंट हेव इनवर्टर ????
======
नींद और मौत में क्या फर्क है...?
किसी ने क्या खूबसूरत जवाब दिया है....
"नींद आधी मौत है". और
"मौत मुकम्मल नींद है"
======
जिंदगी तो अपने ही तरीके से चलती है....
औरों के सहारे तो जनाज़े उठा करते हैं।
======
सुबहे होती है , शाम होती है
उम्र यू ही तमाम होती है ।
कोई रो कर दिल बहलाता है और कोई हँस कर दर्द छुपाता है.
क्या करामात है कुदरत की,
ज़िंदा इंसान पानी में डूब जाता है और
मुर्दा तैर के दिखाता है...
======
बस के कंडक्टर सी हो गयी है जिंदगी ।
सफ़र भी रोज़ का है और जाना भी कही नहीं।.....
======
"The glow of one warm THOUGHT is worth more than MONEY."
======
"दुश्मन बनाने के लिए
जरुरी नहीं के युद्ध
ही लड़ा जाए ,
थोड़े से कामयाब हो जाओ
वो खैरात में मिलेंगे !!"
======
Always smile back at little Children;
To ignore them is to destroy their belief that the World is good.
======
जिन्दगी कुछ थका थका हूँ मैं
देख ले लड़खड़ा रहा हूँ मैं
रेत में ढूँढता रहा मोती
क्या कहूं कितना बावला हूँ मैं
जा चुका मेरा काफिला आगे
था जहां पर वहीं खड़ा हूँ मैं
खूबियां पूछता है क्यों मेरी
कुछ बुरा और कुछ भला हूँ मैं
अपनी सूरत कभी नहीं देखी
लोग कहते हैं आइना हूँ मैं
======
"हमें बरबाद करना है तोह हमसे प्यार करो ॥
नफरत करोगे
तोह खुद बरबाद हो जाओगे!!!"
======
Boring day today.
No IPL match,
Modi busy doing work,
No AAP guy slapped..
Aise thodi na chalta hai Desh yaar..
======
Buddha was not a Buddhist.
Jesus was not a Christian.
Muhammad was not a Muslim.
They were TEACHERS who taught
LOVE.
LOVE was their RELIGION.
======
"Hain!!! PM ko itni respect milti hai?
Mujhe toh kisi ne bataya hee nahi"
~ Manmohan singh.
======
Kuch khamosh members dhyan de..
Sarkar badal gayi hai.
Ab Manmohanji PM nahi rahe...
Start Communicating. ..
======
"The more I do, the more WE can do."
======
माँ कहती है,
बिल्ली रास्ता काटे तो रुक जाना चाहिए.
मैं रुक जाता हूँ..।
अंध-विश्वास को नहीं मानता,
" मैं माँ को मानता हूँ"...।।।
======
Kabhi Sab Kuch Keh Kar
Bhi Baat Adhuri Reh Jaati Hai,
Toh Kabhi Kuch Na Keh Kar Bhi
Baat Poori Ho Jati Hai,
Keh Do Wo Har Baat
Jo Zaruri Hai Kehna,
Kyunki Kabhi Zindagi Bhi
Bewaqt Poori Ho Jaati Hai....
======
An emotional story.....
Left a deep impact.
Worth sharing.
Story goes :
Fathers death
Son decides to leave mom to old age home
Would visit her on and off
Once son receives call from old age home....
Mom serious ...please come to visit
Son comes and asks mom what can I do for you
Mom replies....
please install fans in the old age home ....there are none
Son questions .....all this while you were here you never complained .....now you have few hours left you are saying .....why?
Mom says .....it's OK , I've managed without it .....but when your children will send you here, you will not be able to manage ....
======
The pain of missing friends
is realized when
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
U r standing some where and
see a
group of friends having
fun....
U smile and say to urself .
.
'HUM TOH ISSE BHI JYADA
KAMINEY THE'..
======
Nawaz Shareef: Modi Ji, there is scarcity of water in Pakistan
Modi: What can I do?
Shareef: Can you ask Sunny
Deol to return our handpumps
======
There r 3 Dolls in man's life.
1. His Daughter as Barbie Doll
2. His Gf as Baby Doll
3. His Wife as DAMADOL !!!!
======
Suniye ji, window khul nahi rahi hai.
Husband- Aisa karo
thoda tel garam kar ke us par daal do.
Wife- Kya usese kaam ho jayega.
Husband- Try to karo.
After 15 mins , husband calls wife.
Husband- Tumne try kiya??
Wife- Haan kiya, par ab laptop hi band ho gaya!!!
=======
What is "GENERATION GAP"?
**Father used to walk 20 Minutes to save 20 Rs.
Son spends 20 Rs. to save 20 Minutes.
(Surprisingly both are correct...!!!)
=======
"Is kadar bebas nahin zindagi
Koshish jeene ki to karo yaaron
Beh jaayenge gham saare aansu ban kar
Koshish inhein peene ki to karo yaaron"
=======
Chhat tapkti hai uske...kacche ghar ki....!
Wo Kissan fir bhi... Barish ki dua karta hai...
=======
Ye bhi ek tamasha hai bazar-e-ulfat me galib....
Dil kisi ka hota hai aur bas kisi ka chalta hai...
=======
"Reh rehkar unki yaad aaye to kya kare,
Unki yaad dil se na jaye to kya kare,
socha tha khwab me mulakaat hogi unse,
isi khushi me neend na aaye to kya kare!"
=======
WoMen never listen properly:-
Wife: I lost my keys again !
Husband: It's in your Jeans.
Wife: Don't drag my family into this....
=======
Here is a list of things you need to teach your child(ren) at early age:
1: Warn your girl child never to sit on anyone's laps no matter the situation including
uncles.
2: Avoid getting dressed in front of your child once he/she is 2 years old. Learn to excuse them or yourself.
3. Never allow any adult refer to your child as 'my wife' or 'my husband'
4. Whenever your child goes out to play with friends make sure you look for a way to find
out what kind of play they do, because young people now sexually abuse themselves.
5. Never force your child to visit any adult he or she is not comfortable with and also be observant if your child
becomes too fond of a particular adult.
6. Once a very lively child suddenly becomes withdrawn you may need to patiently
ask lots of questions from your child.
7. Carefully educate your grown ups about the right values of sex . If you
don't, the society will teach them the wrong values.
8: It is always advisable you go through any new Material like cartoons you just bought for them before they start seeing it themselves.
9. Ensure you activate parental controls on your cable networks and advice your friends especially those your children visits often.
10. Teach your 3 year old how to wash their private parts properly and warn them never to allow anyone touch those areas and that
includes you (remember, charity begins from home
and with you).
11: Blacklist some materials/associates you think could threaten the sanity of your child (this includes music, movies and even friends and families).
12. Let your children understand the value of standing out of the
crowd.
13: Once your child complains about a
particular person, don't keep quiet about it. Take
up the case and show them you can defend them.
Remember, we are either parents or parents-to-be.
"We Cares for your Child..."
=======
आज सिर उठा के वही चलता है
जिसके पास Smart Phone नहीं है...
=======
महसूस जब हो कि सारा शहर, आपसे ज़लने लगा है,
समझ लेना आपका नाम भी , चलने लगा है !!...
=======
Yaadon ko awaaz na dena..
Jeena mushkil kar deti hain
=======
Kabhi hum tutey toh kabhi khwaab tutey,
Na jane kitne tukado mein armaan tutey,
Har tukda aayina hai zindagi ka,
Har aayine ke saath laakhon jazbaat tutey....
=======
Ae dil tu dhadak par itna to soch zara,
teri pasand aur hai mere halaat aur hai.
=======
कौन कहता है जैसा "संग वैसा रंग"
इंसान लोमड़ी के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'शातिर' है...
इंसान शेर के साथ नहीं रहता फिर भी 'क्रूर' है...!!!
=======
"एक एक कर इतनी कमियां निकाली लोगों ने मुझमें,
की अब बस "खुबियां" ही रह गयी हैं मुझमें........!
=======
A Serious Statement written outside a Women shoe shop
.
.
.
.
.
.
50% Discount
if you select in 2min
=======
Height of hygiene...???
An architect washing his hands with dettol
after making a drawing of a toilet..
=======
Wife casually calls husband at office one afternoon:
Husband : Hi, kaisi ho?
Wife : Theek hun.
Husband : Aaj kya khaya lunch mein?
Wife : Tumhe bas yehi batein karni aati hain,
kya khaya, kuan sa serial dekha, kaun sa song suna....
Husband : Oh!! Ok Ok, ye batao ki how shuld RBI fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
Wife : (after few seconds silence).... daal chawal khaye hain, dahi aur salad bhi tha...
=======
Aunty (seeing a kid aftr years)-
"Arey Beta kitna Bada Ho Gaya Hai tu to.."
KID- "Haan Aunty aur koi Option Hi Nahi tha!"
======
किसी ने कहा आपकी आँखे बड़ी खूबसूरत हैं..
मैने भी कह दिया...कि बारिश के बाद,अक्सर मौसम सुहाना हो जाता है |।।
======
जीँदगी हो या शतरंज, मजा तभी है दोस्त,
जब रानी मरते दम तक साथ हो...
======
वो लोग भी चलते हे आज कल तेवर बदल कर,
जिन्हे हमने ही सिखाया था चलना संभल कर.
======
This one's a Ladies special
Written by a lady
After a meeting I was coming out of a hotel and I was looking for my car keys.
They were not in my pockets. A quick search in the meeting room, it wasn't there too..
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car.
My husband has shouted many times for leaving the keys in the ignition.
My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them.
His theory is the car will be stolen.
Immediately I rushed to the parking lot, I came to a terrifying conclusion.
His theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police.
I gave them my location, Description of the car, Place I parked etc,
I equally confessed that I had left my keys in the car, and that it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all to my husband, "Honey", I stammered; (I always call him "honey" in times like these.) "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard his voice.
"Idiot", he shouted, "I dropped you at the hotel !"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, then pls come and get me."
He shouted again, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car."...
Oo womania ooo ooo womania...
======
दिल की धडकन ही रुक गयी...
.
.
.
.
.
जब लाईट गयी और कामवाली बोली.।.
वोट ध हेल इस धिस, यु डोंट हेव इनवर्टर ????
======
नींद और मौत में क्या फर्क है...?
किसी ने क्या खूबसूरत जवाब दिया है....
"नींद आधी मौत है". और
"मौत मुकम्मल नींद है"
======
जिंदगी तो अपने ही तरीके से चलती है....
औरों के सहारे तो जनाज़े उठा करते हैं।
======
सुबहे होती है , शाम होती है
उम्र यू ही तमाम होती है ।
कोई रो कर दिल बहलाता है और कोई हँस कर दर्द छुपाता है.
क्या करामात है कुदरत की,
ज़िंदा इंसान पानी में डूब जाता है और
मुर्दा तैर के दिखाता है...
======
बस के कंडक्टर सी हो गयी है जिंदगी ।
सफ़र भी रोज़ का है और जाना भी कही नहीं।.....
======
"The glow of one warm THOUGHT is worth more than MONEY."
======
"दुश्मन बनाने के लिए
जरुरी नहीं के युद्ध
ही लड़ा जाए ,
थोड़े से कामयाब हो जाओ
वो खैरात में मिलेंगे !!"
======
Always smile back at little Children;
To ignore them is to destroy their belief that the World is good.
======
जिन्दगी कुछ थका थका हूँ मैं
देख ले लड़खड़ा रहा हूँ मैं
रेत में ढूँढता रहा मोती
क्या कहूं कितना बावला हूँ मैं
जा चुका मेरा काफिला आगे
था जहां पर वहीं खड़ा हूँ मैं
खूबियां पूछता है क्यों मेरी
कुछ बुरा और कुछ भला हूँ मैं
अपनी सूरत कभी नहीं देखी
लोग कहते हैं आइना हूँ मैं
======
"हमें बरबाद करना है तोह हमसे प्यार करो ॥
नफरत करोगे
तोह खुद बरबाद हो जाओगे!!!"
======
Boring day today.
No IPL match,
Modi busy doing work,
No AAP guy slapped..
Aise thodi na chalta hai Desh yaar..
======
Buddha was not a Buddhist.
Jesus was not a Christian.
Muhammad was not a Muslim.
They were TEACHERS who taught
LOVE.
LOVE was their RELIGION.
======
"Hain!!! PM ko itni respect milti hai?
Mujhe toh kisi ne bataya hee nahi"
~ Manmohan singh.
======
Kuch khamosh members dhyan de..
Sarkar badal gayi hai.
Ab Manmohanji PM nahi rahe...
Start Communicating. ..
======
"The more I do, the more WE can do."
======
माँ कहती है,
बिल्ली रास्ता काटे तो रुक जाना चाहिए.
मैं रुक जाता हूँ..।
अंध-विश्वास को नहीं मानता,
" मैं माँ को मानता हूँ"...।।।
======
Kabhi Sab Kuch Keh Kar
Bhi Baat Adhuri Reh Jaati Hai,
Toh Kabhi Kuch Na Keh Kar Bhi
Baat Poori Ho Jati Hai,
Keh Do Wo Har Baat
Jo Zaruri Hai Kehna,
Kyunki Kabhi Zindagi Bhi
Bewaqt Poori Ho Jaati Hai....
======
An emotional story.....
Left a deep impact.
Worth sharing.
Story goes :
Fathers death
Son decides to leave mom to old age home
Would visit her on and off
Once son receives call from old age home....
Mom serious ...please come to visit
Son comes and asks mom what can I do for you
Mom replies....
please install fans in the old age home ....there are none
Son questions .....all this while you were here you never complained .....now you have few hours left you are saying .....why?
Mom says .....it's OK , I've managed without it .....but when your children will send you here, you will not be able to manage ....
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The pain of missing friends
is realized when
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
U r standing some where and
see a
group of friends having
fun....
U smile and say to urself .
.
'HUM TOH ISSE BHI JYADA
KAMINEY THE'..
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Nawaz Shareef: Modi Ji, there is scarcity of water in Pakistan
Modi: What can I do?
Shareef: Can you ask Sunny
Deol to return our handpumps
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There r 3 Dolls in man's life.
1. His Daughter as Barbie Doll
2. His Gf as Baby Doll
3. His Wife as DAMADOL !!!!
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